My Loves

Yesterday I realized how big of a deal it was that the first half of my "life changing" trip to Haiti is over. What will I take away from this? What will always stay with me? Everything that has happened here and every feeling that I've had has impacted me, definitely. But where does that put me as I walk away? What will I do with all of these experiences? I think about going home and all the things that I will be excited to do again. I know that not too far down the road I will be going home. I have thought about what is next on God's agenda for me in the coming year. Even though we've been here 4 weeks, I somehow am still very able to let my mind go to another place. It’s partly because I don't want to live in the now. I don't want to feel the things and go through the struggles that people here have faced. I don't know how to deal with that. But I want to be in the now. I want to look around and see what God is doing instead of looking at myself.`

I still haven't wrapped my head around the reality of this place. I will never understand it or be able to look around this place and say, these are my people. My friends and family...this is where we come from and this is how we live. This is the culture in which I was raised and this is how it has affected me as an individual, the good and the bad.

The only thing that I can do is love. I can listen to the stories of the people in the clinic or the children whose lives have truly been saved that live in the rescue center. And I can look inside myself, know that I am only a person just like them, and care. God is love and love is in me.

So I decided that the most important thing that will go with me from this place is my relationships with the kids. They each have a unique story and I don't know all of them. But I know the kids. I have seen them and spent time with the everyday. Their individual personalities come out when you hold them and give them some one on one attention. I get to see their little quirks and their mean streaks too. When they get I n groups they do crazy things! I didn't even like kids until a year or two ago, but i have definitely fallen in love. I just want to talk about of few of them. You can look on the rescue centers blog and see more about their stories, but these have been the stories I've made with them.

Evenson- He is 4. He came in and was really malnourished. He is a lot smaller than a 4 yr old should be. But He was put on a special diet that only consisted of Medika Mamba, which is peanut butter, oil and some vitamins all mixed together. He has already graduated from the program from gaining a certain amount of weight. He is full of energy now. He has some type of allergy to a medicine he is on, so he has little white bumbies all over his body and they itch. So we scratch his back sometimes for him. He is so cute. He is the sweetest kid too. He talks all of the time and has the cutest little voice. I guess he is funny cause the adults always laugh at what he says... He'll sit on my lap and talk away. I just repeat things that he says... I hope its all good stuff. We sing together. I'll start singing something and he will sing too. Today we sang Old McDonald had a farm...he already knew the e i e i o part. It was so cute. And I also dance with him. I would pick him up and spin around like we are waltzing or something. Then I tried to get him to do the twist....He dosen't have the hip thing down yet. I will miss him SO much!

Nickenson:
I don't know that much about him. He was on the peanut butter stuff too for a while. He looks alot better. He has really big ears. They are so cute. So I always play with them..ha I

Hope and Faith:
Twins that are being adopted by a family in the states. They have speaking problems and only make sounds, but they can say my name. They are probably around 3 but i don't really know. But they are trouble when they are together! But separately they are pretty cute. I always lay Hope back below my legs and then swing her back up. She loves it and wants to do it all the time. Faith is crazy! They both...actually all of the kids, hate wearing underwear. We got to a point where we can tell them to go put some underwear on before we will hold them. Even though we dont speak the same language somehow they know what we are talking about! Hope is a little bit taller than Faith. And she has a brown spot in the middle of her two front teeth, not a big one. But enough to know that its Hope by seeing it. They are healthy girls...just waiting for all the papers to go through. I will for sure be praying for the family that is blessed with them! They'll have some work to do. ha

Desme and Denny:
They are older...3 or 4. They have been here a long time...grew up together. Denny had water on his brain when he was born and by the time they got it all out and he was fine, his skull had formed around it. So his head is huge! They hope that he will grow into it. He always hits people with his head, like when kids bury their faces in you or something, but it hurts really badly! Desme is a trouble maker...but so photogenic. He is a beautiful kid. He was brought here when he was little and his Dad is the Dominican Republic working. They won't put him up for adoption because they know he has a Dad who actually wants him. Who knows when he'll come back or if he will, but Desme will be here waiting. They both call us Blanc all the time. They know our names but will still call us it to make a point...idk

Tina:
She was brought here as a baby when her mother died and grew up here. She was trouble most of the time...but just to get attention. There are 70 kids...you have to be extraordinary for people to notice you I guess. But sometimes she was so sweet. She loved to touch my hair and my earrings. It was precious. Just this week, they heard word that her sister that brought her here 3 yrs ago lives around Cazale. She just had a baby and was coming to the clinic every month for pre natal care. She never once stopped to see Tina...in 3 yrs. Her picture was up on the gate so people would be looking for her. She saw her own picture, knew they were looking for her and never told anyone who she was. Yesterday a worker here saw her and pulled her in the rescue center so she couldn’t get away. All the ladies came out from inside and gathered around her holding the picture of her holding Tina as an infant. They asked her questions and Leisha even said “I’ve taken care of your sister’s daughter for 3 years and given her everything she needs. Do you have anything at all to say to me?" She said no. She didn't want to take her and said that she would give her to the Father when she found him. So Tina left with her. They did her hair all cute and put real clothes on her and shoes. Gave her a bag with a toothbrush and more clothes, and 2 little dolls. In the matter of 30 minutes her whole world changed. She went from a group of women raising her and a bunch of kids to play with, to going back with her aunt that doesn't want her. It was sad and she must have been so scared. But the Lord is with her. And she knows that she is loved by the people here. I'll miss her.

Barthelmy:
He is my favorite! I've already told my family about him. I want to keep him. He is really malnourished and his arms and legs are so skinny. He is on the peanut butter diet, and since we've been here has slowly started getting better. He has a little droopy eye that is so cute. Just last week I saw him smile for the first time and I just grabbed him and held him all day! Now when he sees me he runs up to me! He holds his arms up and makes squealing noises. He is precious! He gets mad if any other kids are on my lap. He is still really small, but he's starting to run around. He wants to be troublesome but the ladies think he is too innocent and sick to be at fault...but no. He'll play in the water and run down to the gate with the rest of them. I will miss him so much. I pray that he can feel God's love in my embrace. I love him! I will be reading rescue centers blog all the time to look for pictures of him as he grows and see when he goes home.


Fedna, Everline, and Mary Cam:
These three girls are older than most the kids so they stick together a lot of the time. No one knew that Fedna was inside when her house burnt down. She survived but it missing a hand and some toes...and has burns all down her legs. She has been here for a while so they are healed, but they look crazy. She is so funny! She makes the funniest faces and get right up in your face. Today she asked me if she could bite me to see if it would leave a mark! She always wants us to take a picture of her. And she is already used to not having a hand...she uses it however she can and will want you to hold it as if it were her hand. Its really cool. I think.
Everline is so beautiful. She had burns all down the insides of her legs. A few days ago one of the women who work here took Everline home with her. Mary Cam was malnourished when she came. No one has come to get her and they are looking for her parents. They both love to be picked up and spun around. Mary Cam puts her hands up like she’s flying and makes a "woosh" sound...and that is how we know what she wants. ha! Everline likes to be spun around and i hold her upside down a little bit and her eyes get so big and she gets scared but then she wants to do it again! They are so fun. Mary Cam loves all the kids. She is a little abrasive at times, but wants to take care of them and put lotion on them. They both love to play with hair too. Mary Cam kisses me all over my face sometimes too. She is cute.

Carlos:
He drools a lot and will run up and put his face right on you so you get all wet!

Emmanuel:
He is temper tantrum kid...Kind of spastic but very cute

Alexon:
He was only here the first week that we were, but he was a pill. He was always running around and if you ever tried to put him down, he would go limp so you had to keep him from hitting his head or something and lay him out flat! He had tricks! ha But he is so cute! I don't think that I got any pictures of him sadly :(. The lady that runs it said "Here comes the worst kid in the Rescue Center"! But everyone loved him anyway.

Fenol:
We didn't know his name at first, and we noticed that he had a scar under one of his eyes. He then became known as scar face. After that we realized he had such a cute smile and became known as Dimples. By the end of our stay here, he got strong and kind of mean and is best known for the time he bit Lindsay in the butt!!

Levenson:
He is super cute and has big pretty eyes. He takes a nap on me sometimes while he's waiting his turn before bath time.

Jeff:
He is super skinny and still has quash and won't eat anything. But he started to smile since we've been here...only when we hold him but that is still good. He is a little weird though; he recently started to pee in random places out in the open...Once in the area that they eat.

Judy:
She went home this week too. She was a character. She had a water burn and had to stay to get daily dressing changes. She used to cry all the time and Audry Ann always held her, but then she got happy and went crazy! She mooned me once and never wore underwear. She always wanted the attention and thought she was the princess of the RC. She must have been treated well at home to have an attitude like hers, that she deserves everything.

RoseMary:
She is on the baby side, but has learned to stand with a little help. She is always on the go! Everyone loves her because she is so energetic and fun.

Rosali and Rosemani:
Rosali is a woman who was going to be sent in to a hospital to get a foot amputated, but a big storm came and knocked out the bridge on the way there. So while she waited for it to be fixed so she could go, it began to heal. She slept in the baby room and got daily dressing changes until it fully healed. Her daughter Rosemani slept on the bunk above her and took care of Rosali. Rosemani is probably Rosena’s age…so like 14 maybe. She is so pretty when she has her hair in braids with extensions! I would always play cards with her and Rosena. I liked her a lot! A couple of days ago, Lindsay and I went downstairs and they were gone. I wish we could have said bye, but people here are used to it I guess. People come and go all the time. It’s a good thing because they are healthy and healed, but for the women who work here, I would miss some of these kids that I had gotten to know so well.

There are many more that I am so happy that I got to meet, but these are just a few. This is a super long post, but I don’t want to forget this stuff!