Haiti...

I haven't yet blogged since being in Haiti. I usually want to send out emails and by the time I'm done with that I feel like I"ve been on the computer too long. But tonight I had the urge to do it. I think that its because I was thinking about my life and that it really is incomprehensible, the experiences I have and what God will do with all of it in the end.

We have been here for 14 days. I already feel like I've seen for than I had imagined I would seen. I've been moved more than I thought I could be. I remember sending an email to one of the women who run Real Hope For Haiti and all of its many outreaches, a few weeks before school was out. I remember telling her that I was most afraid of letting God break my heart for these people here, and then feeling that there is nothing I can do to leave a lasting impact. In the book The Shack God said...If anything matters, everything matters.

So I'm here doing small things to love on these kids and help in the clinic. God will use the small things to make big impacts on peoples lives.

There are so many kids in these two small rooms made of concrete with a big blue metal gate to keep them in. The older kids are always sticking their heads thru the bars to try and talk to you. When we go in there they all run to us and tackle us. To them, its like a competition to get to play with us. So if we go in there we are in the way of all the ladies who are trying to take care of them. We usually sit outside on a bench by where they eat and play with a few kids that we bring out with us. Or the bigger kids come out who run around like crazy. They always have poo or something on them. Its pretty sad. They do the best job taking care of the kids possible, even a lot better than if these kids were home one on one with a parent. I love holding them and playing with them. The little babies are precious. There are a few that are so small, they spit up a lot of what they eat, and its so hard to see them because we know that if they can't eat they wont make it. They get new kids every week. We are always willing to play with the newbee. You can usually tell which ones are new because they will just stand outside like they are waiting for their parent to come back for them. And they look so sad. They cry but after a week or maybe less maybe more, they will be laughing and playing with all the other kids.

We do alot of other stuff, and Lorie and Leisha do so much to help those in need. They have been faithful to live by the spirit, seeing thru God's eyes to see what the needs are for those in the area. They pay for people to have surgeries that they need. They ask their employees about who in the area are struggling, they go meet the people, and find out how they can help them. On top of the clinic, rescue center, sewing classes, getting clean water to the community, as well as employing a lot of people. The opportunity to work is the most valuable thing here.

The thing that has had the most impact on me was last week when we walked to the home of an old couple. It is a rigorous journey no matter where you are headed if you travel thru the mountains. When we got there the couple came out of their home and sat with us. They were so cute!! Leisha took us into their house to show us how they were planning on helping the couple. I had to hold back the tears. I mean We've driven by shacks people live in and seen people bathing in the river, but there was something about standing inside of the home and truly witnessing what it is like for these people to live in such conditions. It was probably smaller than my moms bathroom at home. There were two rooms. There was a wooden foundation of sticks as the walls and harden mud/clay packed into the sticks. They had a super small bed and nothing else. They had a small shelf/table in the corner, the other room was behind a wall of sticks and it was where they cooked their food. There was a big hole in the wall from wind and rain, and the left wall was caving in. They had a bundle of sticks up against the wall to keep it from completely collapsing. It rains here!!! I mean their house is made of mud and sticks. The rain and wind and hurricanes over the years and this shack is still standing. But they are happy people. They dont know how bad they have it. They don't know how other people live. To them its home.

As I am writing I am discouraged. I don't even know why I'm trying to put into words what it is like here and how i'm being impacted.

I need God. He is the only thing being my support. He holds my future, my life, my heart. He loves all these people here, and although they suffer he is rising up people to show his glory.

I may write again later... I may not.....sorry my blogging experience has been a flop